So Damaged and Ugly

Picture frames falling through my memories
Oh how i loved all of our synergy
but was blind to see that it was only felt by me
and the thoughts of your mind were off on the other side
Just because you dont say anything doesnt mean you didnt lie
Hoping for one day of a new mind or a blue sky
To say your sorry and forget your black tar time

The road is long and full of turns
I saw a woman off in the trees getting burned
Falling to the ground from a gift of god
Agency is poisoned by the choices that she made
Couldnt understand a hand full of clovers and drawing a spade
Her home has slipped into the grey
Family wondering if the girl will ever find her way

I havent met another who looks so lovely
but inside so damaged and ugly
Is their anyone who hurts as much as you?
Looking so pretty with your eyes painted black
its like your good thoughts fell through the cracks
How could you be so cold?
I hate knowing that we havent called.

Blinded by the eclipse that has been put on your eyes
the hope is dwindling that one day you'll actually fly
Wings so beautiful that will never be the same
I keep dwelling on the anger that has plagued my veins
Hoping that her soul wont be stained
It had always been about you
thats why it feels as if my blood is in pain

Though I try to turn my back to the shadows
My mind's thoughts scream of something louder
Hoping that my soul and heart dont completely sour
The image of you makes me feel safe
though i know that you've made your choice
And the pain i grasp on to
Even though I shouldnt still love you

Unhealthy (My New Song)

Its 4 in the morning
for another book on the shelf
Wondering if the drugs would really affect my health
and how it was never about myself
There are colors that swirl around me
but inside I don't see a whole lot
Just a picture of the girl who made my heart stop
Don't think this is a place I can be
living in the past can be so unhealthy

Would it be better off if I hit the road
if I leave now my heart cant be sold
The trains are once again calling
I can hear them every time I start falling

I used to be someone to look up to
Helping out neighbors, friends anyone with burdens
I wasn't alone, I had nothing to atone
you left and I couldn't understand where the happiness had gone
But the fear in my heart turned white into dark
turning to shots of whiskey
Just wish I could hold our tiny little spark
Watching her grow up from a distance
Cause we weren't ready to start

Would it be better off if I hit the road
if I leave now my heart cant be sold
The trains are once again calling
I can hear them every time I start falling

Bridge:
Oh you always climb up that tree so high
Would you just come down so we can fly away
Take a train through this awful pain
and lets try to forget how where both insane

Little Bird

You said I never could hold you right
Blue bird without a focus
always so far away when we'd fall asleep at night
Hopping around for the next locust
and you knew you always love to provoke fights
Hidding its colours by singing to us
But I was happy

You always had a way of not telling
Black birds sail through the skies
to get your way you'd begin yelling
The heart is what keeps those black eyes
Or a little kiss and so charming
Wings so beautiful with no ties
But I was happy

Grandpa knew it from the start
A robin red breast's corky imagination
How that sparkle could always hook my heart
Flying from tree to tree like it had no limitation
Never could move on or push lifes cart
Jumping down to the ground without hesitation
But I was happy

You've said you have made your choice
Blue, Black, Red, and always with your voice
Cut down I sat and cried
The games of little birds often dies
But the Love I had for you will never be a lie
A home that burned cause I looked up at the sky
And I dont know how to be happy

Meu Sonhos Sobre Te

meus sonhos são todos sobre você
Todos os dias eles me perseguem até a noite chegou.
A estrada é o que você me deixou
sem um lar para descansar minha cabeça
você tem jagado de mim com seu olhos
e tudo o que posso fazer é cantar canções de saudade de você
Gostaria que você me ligue para me dizer o seu desculpa
Assim, podemos passar por isso juntos
e trazer de volta o fogo em nossa casa
Eu sinto seus olhos, sua boca, seu coração, sua alma
Sempre, eu te-amor

Wings

With every power to raise you up,
to keep you soaring through the thick and thin
the great call and feeling of freedom
Together never having to be alone
my home and my stone

but once again I am wingless
No way I can fly up further from the cold wind
Finally trying to run from the same person
Throughout this sick addiction
Wondering why she caused all the static and friction

Or is it my pride that made my wings leave my side
So that my body doesn't hold them down
falling from the sky waiting for the noose to tighten
cause inside my body i am finally frightened
And now I walk through a noiseless town
And constantly feel like I'm going to drown

Now for everything that has happened
am I the one to blame?
the one that should consume himself with the shadows of shame.
Lord would you help me find some way to relieve this pain
cause as each second goes by I'm going insane
i guess i'm just another wingless man in a state of desperation.

Crumbling Rocks

What have i become? the lonely hearted
the broken minded, the lost soul of a man who is out of a heart.
I cant help but see the sun lining up with the horizon
but the clock seems to be out of time
The short breathe of morning is only a second of bliss
and I cant think of anything but your soft kiss.
My hands are rough like the voice that i speak
falling from this awful mountain peak
On the day that I saw the rocks crumbling
I tried picking them up and placing them back
Cant keep up with the soon to be disastrous life.
No use in trying your becoming expired
the love that I once had will soon be retired.
No inspiration when a shattered dream is finally dying.
Wish i had the strength to keep on fighting.

Falling Slowly

I thought it would be fun to put up a video of my self playing the guitar...I know I'm kind of a dork, but I love doing stuff like this. Hope it all goes well...My facial expressions are so weird though oh well. One of these days I'll start putting up my own songs that I've written.

Every day Without You

Every morning your smile seems to fade.
The Sun comes up and all I want is to stay in bed
With no one there, it makes me feel scared
Every morning you float around inside my head

Every afternoon I try not to think of you
The sun shines bright and reminds me of your eyes
Green and brown shine on through my mind
Every afternoon I think of you and sigh

Every night it seems to get a little colder
The Moon comes out and I feel so much older
With my bones aching and my smile so lonely
Every night I wish you'd hold me

Every midnight I fight to try and sleep
but my heart gets mad when your not there to help me count the sheep
My dreams hope you'll come back and bring your blue skies
Evey midnight it seems I'll love you till I die

Oh no the sun is about to rise.

Old Poem I Fished Up

Picture of the Sea

I wish I painted a picture of the sea,

where I would lose my dreams.

where the swirling colors could toss me here and there.

And I’d lose my way drifting there.

So that I’d find an archipelago,

and watch the sunset,

Oh and feel the freedom through the wind,

and have the sun burn my skin,

where the ocean would wash my sins,

and the salt would get in my wounds.

Oh I wish I painted a picture of the Sea that’s always flowing and waving at me,

where I could die in this worthless dream,

and the sea would have apart of me.

I wish I painted a picture of the sea,

So you could be you, I could be me,

And we’d know what we could be.